a consciousness coming out through death
what can come out of my consciousness as I lay dying; in the end; stuck in the deepest pit of existential loss & chaos; ripped into pieces with failure, uncertainty, shame, fear, & loneliness… fallen into the end of me, seeing the end of you, the end of civilization; voicelessly screaming in*out the labor of the death*birth of myself~yourself~the whole of the universe inside & beyond all of us...
what can come out of my consciousness, as it’s being torn into endless incomprehensible pieces, with the historically accumulated obsessions of “survival, security, & success”; paralyzed in worthless seeking of perfection, certainty, exactness, & control; blown up & down & in*out between the deathly voicelessness of nihilistic void hopelessness, & the incoherently clashing & infinitely accelerating voiceflow of knowing*feeling*being (almost!) the whole consciousness of the universe at once; & im*ex/ploding with emotions of shame, fear, rage, & deep eternal love...
what can come out of my consciousness as I lay dying, buried in my ancient-to-modern grave, forsaken, hidden, forgotten… beneath the “growth” pyramid of survival, power, domination, traditionalization, rationalization, & civilization… the pyramid that has become everything that we eat for senseless “growth & health”; that we internalize in distorted perception; that we communicate in superficial conversations; that we think in one/dimensional programming education; that we see in desublimating media; that we inter/act in reality falsifying creation; that we produce in self/collective obliterating progress...
what can come out of my consciousness as I see the sacrificed whole, the screaming "aahh", the forsaken other*s, the acceleratingly & intensifyingly exploding*expanding dark energy, permeating all our pyramidal appearances of survival & progress, as the sacrificed other*s are implodingly awakening in the suppressed depths of our hearts -- our hearts beating their*our last cries, so close, so fast, while crucified by the old/age norms of satan/obsessed religious pre/modernity, & shackled by the iron/cage machines of irrationally/rationalized scientific modernity… norms & machines trying to resuscitate our numbed minds, our cancerous bodies, our virus/infected breaths… to continue productive work, entertaining (non)happiness, & running the modern machine of the ancient pyramid of the Pharaoh's Magnificent Civilization...
what, if anything, can come out of my consciousness laying in my forsaken grave... dying…
About me:::
deeply digging to unbury the inverted pyramid of sacrifice from the ashes of the dominating pyramid of power through evolution… metacognizing mental pain into creative synthesis & revolutionary theorizing… love & rage & prayer… letters from the other side to Mr. Nathan Edwards…